My OC Files

I guess this is what people do? I've been joke-writing these bits for a while now. Some are not an "OC" per se, but just elaborate parodies. Those are labeled NO-C. A couple aren't even characters but essentially folk customs I'd like to see happen. Those are labeled FOLK. These characters, concepts, whatever are just things you'll hear about if you spend any length of time around me.

Elizabunth

For lack of a better term, this is my fursona. I saw a cute OC bunny my husband made for a client and I thought it looked like me. When her art is done, she'll make an appearance. She's also PG-13 so no worries about seeing some "oh hey there hi there" material, since I don't know how to spoiler tag on here. Or even if I can. I have not really fleshed this character out.

Name	*Elizabunth*
Gender	Female
Age	I dunno, let's make her 40 like me
Species	Bunny!
Tags	OC, Fursona, humanoid, SFW, Author stand-in

Mother Wound

So I was thinking about cenobites and drag, and being very inspired by Dragula where cenobite-inspired looks are pretty common, I started to think of a really cool look. I do not have the costuming skills to do this, but would that I did. Mother Wound would be on the taller side, very august. I would like her to look like the Diana of Ephesus idols (SFW-ish cause it's classical art but beware, they have multiple boobs. It's not subtle). I'd also like to see some elements from the Mesopotamian snake goddess in there, specifically her cute little jacket. This one is also boob-centric so beware your google. However, she would be wearing a mantilla type veil surrounding a blank-black void of a face with a single lower mandible around where a chin would naturally be. If I was to actually make this costume, I want her to be terrifying and sexually confusing. But I would also want this rig to be flexible since she has comedic potential....read on, it'll make sense....

Name	*Mother Wound*
Gender	Female...???
Age	Time is immaterial to Mother
Species	Oh god knows....
Tags	OC, Ceno-sona, humanoid, NSFW

"Dean Pinhead" NO-C

Obviously, this is NOT my character. However, I'd love....LOVE....to see a web series of the various cenobites as midlevel academic administrators at Pandemonium University. Good ol' Pan-U was a fair/middling Pandemonium County Technical College until it passed accreditation by the (flayed) skin of its teeth. Poor Dean Pinhead has the torturous fate of being a middle manager, with disorganized and entitled faculty below him teaching a barely-conscious student body and a disorganized and entitled barely-conscious upper management making the worst possible choices on a daily basis.* He has do handle various sitcom situations until one day "leadership" decides to hop on the AI train and buy the most ill-conceived, useless ed-tech product simply because it uses the Ceno-verse equivalent of Chat GPT. Because they're "closing the loop" on "the tech curve" and "disrupting" the "educational" "industry"**. On the much-vaunted training day, he files into the conference room with his coffee and his fellow deans and sees no other but his old flame, Mother Wound, as Chief Relationship Manager/"Tech guru"/"Marketing Leader".
Mother Wound is one part Mae West, one part Jessica Lange from AHS: Coven. It's her job to lock Pan-U into the worst possible contract with her company for their baroquely shitty ed-adjacent product. It's Dean Pinhead's job to minimize the damage this does in order to actually educate students. Hilarity ensues, or at least it does in my head.
*No I'm not speaking from experience at all.
**No personal experience whatsoever. I am completely guessing what higher ed is like.

Name	*Dean Pinhead NO-C*
Gender	??? I've been using he/him for simplicity but there's even odds for multiple genders
Age	None of our business, but spiritually middle-aged
Species	Say it with me, folks: "Angels to some...."
Tags	NO-C humanoid, NSFW, just so tired

The Onion King and the Apple Queen

OK, so my actual, meatspace hometown has a lot of orchards and orchard-themed festivals to draw in tourists. I love these, of course. However, I'd love them more if I could dress up as one of two OC's and just generally be a mummer-type figure. One of our festivals is literally called Apple Fest, but our town is known for Onion production. Enter the Onion King and the Apple Queen!
I'm envisioning them as looking like Enoch from Over the Garden Wall, giant produce heads but on vaguely ren-fair garb bodies.

I went a bit nuts and started a loose "play"/"script" for the King and Queen. I suppose the idea would be to involve festival attendees in the storyline, having them help the monarchs and capture the Duke of Carrot so the harvest can commence (see embed below).

I think this would be just darling. A lot of adlib, but also just folkloric, silly, and fun. I would have no idea how to go about doing this. Just show up in costume? Start posting on social media about or as these characters? I love the idea of coming up with something batshit and just acting like it's normal. Also, the design possibilities are so fun.

The Pendle Ham

Ah, the Pendle ham! I have no clue how/why I started this idea. But this needs to become a folk custom. This is literally because the phrase "pendle ham" cracks me up. As does ham.

Coming Soon....